My first blog---Friendship

What goes into a first blog post? Should I tell you who I am and what I'm about? That almost seems a little boring. I'm not the type to write a life story about myself. Instead, I will merely begin my blog as any other blog, and hopefully you will learn who I am through my many blog posts.

Well….the past year and a half has brought many changes. Chad and I have established a life together. We each have started new jobs, purchased new cars, and established new friendships.

The past year and a half has also brought hardships, including the loss of friendships. What really is friendship, though? I was always taught that friendship was honesty, understanding, and commitment. When we were little, it meant sticking up for our friend when the boy in class called her a name. But what happens when we get older, and instead of the boy being in your 2nd grade class, he is the boy who is now a man and your friend’s husband? What defines friendship as we all grow up? I still think it’s honesty, understanding, and commitment; however, how do our personal feelings, beliefs, and morals fall into friendship? Where do we draw the line between being a friend and having a solid belief system?

I was once told that I was not an unconditional friend. But what is an unconditional friend? We've heard of unconditional love, which I experience every day with my soon-to-be husband, my parents, and other people in my family. However, do we have unconditional friendship?? How do we stay friends as adults, but continue to still have a solid belief system?? It seems to me that in order to have unconditional friendship you would have to give up part of yourself, which isn't what I thought friendship was about. Am I wrong? Can you have a friendship where you are friends with people who have beliefs and values that you disagree with? Can you love a friend through all of their faults? I completely agree that a friend can be loved although they have faults, but I do not agree that your beliefs and values have to be sacrified. So, how do we find the balance?

When I was growing up, my parents always told me to be honest and voice my opinion, just as many other parents did throughout this country. It wasn't until now that this honesty has really cost me something---a friendship. Real friends should accept your honesty, correct? That's what I always thought. I gave my honest opinion on a subject that was difficult, yes, but also important. I was trying to salvage a friendship that I feel was probably past the saving point. I was trying to work hard to get something back that I'm not sure I really wanted back. However, I was going to work hard to try to bring back something lost. I did not succeed. Instead, it brought anger and claims that I was not a friend because I didn't agree with situations in her life that I am morally opposed to. So, where's the balance? Can you be a friend and still have a solid belief system? I'm still searching for the answer.